2/12/2004 08:42:00 PM|||Andrew|||Yesterday I had my first session with my counselor, and he told me two things that I'd like to go into here, briefly or verbosely.

1: There are two questions that each person has to answer in life, two fundamental questions that must be resolved. The first question is: Where am I going? Essentially this is a question of identity, for in order to describe where one is going, one must understand the nature of one's own character. Then, further than understanding the self and character, to ask where one is going is to ask about one's goals. Does not one's goals, one's purposes, or to put it as Aristotle did, one's final cause, contribute to a sense of who one is, in essence? Indeed, it is impossible to know who one is without knowing where one is going.

The second question to ask is: Who will go with me? Clearly, one of the most important decisions one can make in life is the choice of a life partner, of someone who will share in your goals, go the same path. And therein lies a critical distinction, for one must have anwered the first question or else the second question becomes unanswerable. The lesson is the fact that understanding of one's self and one's goals should preceed pursuit of a partner in those goals.


2: Your wife will be your closest friend, simply in virtue of the shared experiences creating a world of intimacy outshining all other friendships. But it is dangerous for your wife to be your best friend, the friend that you rely on above all else, the friend you turn to in times of trouble or despair. The problem created is that by doing so, you train yourself to turn to women first...and when your wife is inaccessible or the cause of the distress itself, you will turn instead to another woman, and that path is the path to marital infidelity and much grief.

If instead your best friend, the friend you turn to first, instinctively, is another man, you guard yourself against temptation and guarantee a solid place to turn to.


That is all. Take of these things what you will.|||107664735686875197|||